Welcome to the Underworld

The path to madness is not a paved one, I’ve come to realize. 

It’s rocky, rough, and near impossible to navigate through. Sometimes, it seems like a dark, dense jungle, when suddenly it turns into an empty desert. You always cut your feet on the rocks as It drags you further down the path. It laughs, seeing your bloody footprints. You look back, only to see nothing. The path has broken off behind you; small pieces of rubble falling into the inky-black abyss.

You smile. 

There’s no way you’re going back.

_________________________

I grin, hearing her laugh so loudly. A feeling of warmth bubbles up inside of me. It’s nice. I jokingly shove her as she continues to tease me. I call her annoying, and she just laughs harder. I love moments like this, when everything seems so carefree. Even the letter about this month’s rent being late doesn’t bother me. I know I’ll have to deal with it later, lest I end up losing my home. However, for now it can wait just a bit longer. I want to enjoy this moment, seeing as time is as fleeting as it is enjoyable.

I hug her goodbye, and that is unfortunately the last time I see her for a couple of weeks. Our jobs are very demanding of our time, so we rarely have time to just go out and goof around like we used to. That’s just what we signed up for when we moved into the real world. I notice that I miss her as the days go by; a feeling that is not foreign to either of us. We try and try to reserve a day for each other, but when it arrives, something else calls us away. It is annoying, I must admit, but I cannot do anything about it. 

Almost a month passes by before I see her lovely smile again. It seems fainter. I ask her about what all has happened, she replies with the usual, “Oh, nothing spectacular.” She proceeds to ask me in return, and I just reply with a smile and a shrug, as per usual. She hugs me, saying she’s sorry about not being able to meet up sooner. I laugh and shush her, knowing it was something out of our control. 

We dismiss ourselves from the world to visit our land of love. Our troubles, jobs, and annoying colleagues vanish. Only we exist in this moment. I’ve missed it, this serenity. I miss her. We laugh, joke around, and tease each other constantly. The day runs by so fast, and now it is time to say our farewells once again. We hug for what seems like hours, mumbling promises to meet again in each other’s ears. We know it will be a while before we have this again, so we cherish the moment when we have the other to ourselves. She walks away. It is then the world seems to darken. Everything is just as dim and dull as it was yesterday, and the day before.

I realize, my light has left me once again. I smile regardless, telling myself that I will see her again sometime soon. 

I know it won’t be long now. I am grateful for today. Even if it was just one day in the rest, it was worth it. 

_______________

The smile doesn’t reach her eyes anymore. It puzzles me. I ask her the usual question. She sighs and doesn’t answer for a moment. I see that bright smile once again, but something is wrong with it. She tells me the same thing she says every time, almost as if it had become habit. I chuckle, commenting on our repetitiveness. We start off like this every time we see each other. It’s quite comical. She laughs as well, making the warmth return. My sister, my dearest friend, my light. I don’t know how I’d live without her. Knowing she thinks the same of me, only makes the warmth and happiness grow. I’m glad we were able to meet and form such an amazing friendship. 

The day goes slowly this time, much to our relief. I notice little things about her that I didn’t see before. She seems tired, perhaps a bit restless. She’s not as she was before. What happened, I wonder? I decide not to ask. She would tell me if she wanted, and if not, then I wouldn’t pry. However, even seeing all of these small changes, she seems happier than she was earlier today. I’m not sure if it was because of me, or because she was relieved to have a break from life, but I was glad. She didn’t deserve to be sad. She went through enough of that before. 

The smile fades just as the warmth does. My light leaves me again, with promises of return. 

The months seem longer now; the visits fewer. I am so cold. I hear the chatter of busy people around me as I walk to my workplace for another long day. The world is dim, even the sun seems to be not as high in the sky. The people, mundane as ever, don’t spare me a second glance. None of them are smiling, as if their schedules couldn’t spare a second for even the smallest of grins. Their eyes were dull. 

I pass another large building. I glance over, seeing my reflection in the glass. 

No smile, no soul. 

I’m just like them.